Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Learning from our own mistakes

Ah the story of my life.

It’s been fun watching the kids blossom and grow. One of the things I am happy about is that they will be able to benefit from my illness. I can teach them the things I learned the hard way. I still remember like it was yesterday.

I was all dressed up in my white holy communion dress. 7 years old thin blond hair, white dress, veil, anklets, white shoes. heck I looked like an angel. I was pretty and I knew it. It was sunny that May and as my mom walked me up to church, someone told me how pretty I looked. I beamed, “I know” I said.

You guessed it. That was the wrong thing to say. Apparently you are supposed to thank people for overstating the obvious. What! and if he said, "you are a girl", should I thank him too. I didn’t get it. OK So I socked that away, I am a quick study. sometimes.

Fast forward 2 years or so. It’s Girl scout cookie time. I had to go out and sell these things. I was a wreck because, I don’t much care for big people, even now, especially if they are gruff and loud, like our neighbor was. Well he bought a couple boxes and everything was fine, I think. Then I found out, I am supposed to thank him. For What? All he did was put his name on the paper. Later, he gets cookies and the Girl Scouts gets money. I don’t get anything and certainly not now. So what do I thank him for? To get my mom off my back.

I remembered all this a while back, when I was telling my youngest for the umpteenth time that I loved her. She just cocked her head at me and said. Mom you already said that, as if once was enough and anymore was just redundant. I thought it was cute actually, she’s only 8 and quite a tomboy right now.

Well now she has discovered reciprocity. In an other kid this could be just another unwelcome phase, but in my aspie it’s a milestone. One evening, she hugged me three times and crawled up into my lap telling me how cuddly my lap was. I teased her and said, do you mean that or do you just want to stay up longer. She giggled and said both.

This is the child who we used to call a head with eyes. She never smiled. She wouldn’t let us hug her tightly or kiss her. She’d say goodbye if prompted and of course the above redundancy comment. She would go hours without talking and days without laughing. I’ll allow myself to be manipulated for that laugh of hers. Heck she might even get another pack of Pokemon cards out of me


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