Right, Half Right, Wrong? Political correctness in the classroom

I’ve really been stuck lately. I have been told that I have an over developed sense of right and wrong. I have a hard time finding fault with that but it does cause problems for me and at least one of my kids, (who also has Aspergers).

School textbooks really annoy me. I need to preface all this by saying that I thoroughly agree that the omission of blacks in history was deplorable, however I do not agree that we should over compensate, by eliminating everyone else’s contributions and attributing them to others because we feel guilty? No kind of incorrect political correctness is fair to the kids.

Example: My daughter’s textbook stated that after the native Americans, a Jean Baptiste Point Du Sable settled the land that is now Chicago. Across the top of the page was the banner Black History. I would never have even seen this section of the book, if my daughter hadn’t been frustrated over a work sheet she was doing. There were 2 questions that had her stumped. The first asked who first settled the area and the second asked the date . For the first she entered the Native Americans as her answer but the only date mentioned in her book was the date that Du Sable built his house. Since the book clearly stated that Du Sable was the first Non-Native American, she was upset that she couldn’t find any date for the Native Americans. Well as it turned out of course, the answer that “the book wanted” for the settler was Du Sable. even though it was an incorrect answer. This infuriated me. I went to the internet, pulled up the Chicago public library and found a timeline. Not only was Du Sable not first, but he wasn’t even second. The Explorers Marquette and Joliet are not even mentioned in her book. They were in the area almost 100 years prior and helped make the river area well known. Later a Jesuit started a mission before Du Sable came, So to be PC we ignore the Native Americans and the first Explorers

And then of course if we do consider the book correct why then are the Native Americans mentioned but then discarded as if they didn’t count. Isn’t that just as bad as leaving blacks out of history.

When I questioned this all I got was, what the book was looking for. I was taught that if a question can have more than one answer, then the question wasn’t a valid question. I still hold that unless the question asked who was the first non Native American who settles Chicago, then my daughter’s answer was correct.

Now I am not just upset because she got an answer wrong, she still got an A in the class, but it’s the inconsistencies, and the "read and mindlessly regurgitate, what the other person wants to hear" that I don’t like. Then I remember the Aspergers.

When someone asks me how I feel, I don’t just nod and say fine, I tell them. My dad always says, “What ya doing” when he calls you on the phone. I don’t say, not much, or “waiting for you to call” like he does. I tell him! Even if I am writing code or something else really technical. And if you ask me if your outfit makes you look fat, I’ll tell you. Why would I let you wear something that looks awful on you if I can help it. If you don't want the answer, don't ask. Not very good at chit chat am I.

So that’s what it’s like in my world

Learning from our own mistakes

Ah the story of my life.

It’s been fun watching the kids blossom and grow. One of the things I am happy about is that they will be able to benefit from my illness. I can teach them the things I learned the hard way. I still remember like it was yesterday.

I was all dressed up in my white holy communion dress. 7 years old thin blond hair, white dress, veil, anklets, white shoes. heck I looked like an angel. I was pretty and I knew it. It was sunny that May and as my mom walked me up to church, someone told me how pretty I looked. I beamed, “I know” I said.

You guessed it. That was the wrong thing to say. Apparently you are supposed to thank people for overstating the obvious. What! and if he said, "you are a girl", should I thank him too. I didn’t get it. OK So I socked that away, I am a quick study. sometimes.

Fast forward 2 years or so. It’s Girl scout cookie time. I had to go out and sell these things. I was a wreck because, I don’t much care for big people, even now, especially if they are gruff and loud, like our neighbor was. Well he bought a couple boxes and everything was fine, I think. Then I found out, I am supposed to thank him. For What? All he did was put his name on the paper. Later, he gets cookies and the Girl Scouts gets money. I don’t get anything and certainly not now. So what do I thank him for? To get my mom off my back.

I remembered all this a while back, when I was telling my youngest for the umpteenth time that I loved her. She just cocked her head at me and said. Mom you already said that, as if once was enough and anymore was just redundant. I thought it was cute actually, she’s only 8 and quite a tomboy right now.

Well now she has discovered reciprocity. In an other kid this could be just another unwelcome phase, but in my aspie it’s a milestone. One evening, she hugged me three times and crawled up into my lap telling me how cuddly my lap was. I teased her and said, do you mean that or do you just want to stay up longer. She giggled and said both.

This is the child who we used to call a head with eyes. She never smiled. She wouldn’t let us hug her tightly or kiss her. She’d say goodbye if prompted and of course the above redundancy comment. She would go hours without talking and days without laughing. I’ll allow myself to be manipulated for that laugh of hers. Heck she might even get another pack of Pokemon cards out of me

Tigg

What's in a Name?

I guess I should finally explain the name of this site shouldn’t I? It’s not really cryptic, but yet it is.. Whooaaa too close to Halloween for that it is.

It’s really simple. When I was registering the domain for my web site Bouncing off the Wall. I toyed with lots of different names. Then I looked down and was reminded that the shirt I was wearing that day, had a Tigger on it. Yea so what else is new. But this particular one also said bouncing off the walls. And the rest is history as they say.

When I designed this page, I was wearing my “It’s a stimmy day” shirt. For those of you who don’t know, “Stimming” is what autistics and a lot of you other Neuro typical people, do for comfort when things get a tad stressful.

Some of us flap, some rock back and forth, some spin. Some even bite their nails. Now just how many of you took your hands out of your mouth or hid them? And how many of you moms stopped rocking back and forth?. Just kidding. I’m sure stimming got that name from the word stimulation. I know I have sensory stimulation problems and when things overwhelm my senses, I feel uncomfortable. One therapy for sensory stimulation problems is to either remove the sensory input or counter it. Some with certain tactile stimulation problems benefit from being tightly hugged, some with auditory stimulation problems will hum to overcome the barrage of other noises. How many of you have had a bratty little brother put his hands over his ears and sing “la la la, I can’t hear you” to drown you out See we’re all around you. wha ha ha JK.

Anyway. That’s the story. It’s probably Good, I didn’t have my Elmo Rules Shirt on that day Huh?

TTFN

Tigg

It's a fine Line

I just want to share part of a poem I found the other day. It is by Elaine Popovich and was on a site dealing with language and the disabled. I think more of the other person’s book dealt with political correctness and such, but that’s not what struck me about this poem. It is about how the words change depending on who you are talking about and what you know about them. well just read this part first.

You and I
By Elaine Popovich

I am a resident. You reside.

I am admitted. You move in.

I am aggressive. You are assertive.

I have behavior problems. You are rude.

I am noncompliant. You don’t like being told what to do.

When I ask you out for dinner, it is an outing. When you ask someone out, it is a date.

I made mistakes during my check-writing program. Some day I might get a bank account. You forgot to record some withdrawals from your account. The bank called to remind you.

I wanted to talk with the nice-looking person behind us at the grocery store. I was told that it is inappropriate to talk to strangers. You met your spouse in the produce department. Neither of you could find the bean sprouts.

I celebrated my birthday yesterday with five other residents and two staff members. I hope my family sends a card. Your family threw you a surprise party. Your brother couldn’t make it from out of state. It sounded wonderful!

My case manager sends a report every month to my guardian. It says everything I did wrong and some things I did right. You are still mad at your sister for calling your Mom after you got that speeding ticket.

I am learning household skills. You hate housework.

I am learning leisure skills. Your shirt says you are a “Couch Potato.”

After I do my budget program tonight, I might get to go to McDonald’s if I have enough money. You were glad that the new French restaurant took your charge card.

My case manager, psychologist, R. N., occupational and physical therapist, nutritionist and house staff set goals for me for the next year. You haven’t decided what you want out of life.

Someday I will be discharged . . . maybe. You will move onward and upward.

Now what gets me is that if the first person had never been diagnosed and sent for treatment, then the words ascribed to the second person, would be also used to describe her. I know you might think but wait, she must have been really sick or messed up in the first place, but that’s not necessarily so.

Consider 2 points. Some of you will remember the presidential race when Tom Eagleton of Missouri was Mc Govern’s running mate for a time. Now I am not going to get into a debate over who was better or any of that stuff, but if you can remember , when Eagleton admitted to having been treated for depression, he was suddenly totally unfit and was dropped from the ticket. So we were worse off with some one treated rather than someone who wouldn’t seek treatment?

Case 2. Two couples go over seas to adopt. The first couple admits to being recovering alcoholics and sober for 12 years. They are rejected as prospective parents. Couple #2 has never undergone treatment for alcoholism, but regularly get toasted with the family all of whom regularly get toasted, if you get my drift. They just don’t mention it, and come home with a baby. So in this case, Couple #2 would come home and have a celebration and get loaded while couple #1 would “fall off the wagon”

How many times can someone with any disability or mental condition have a “normal” reaction to everyday life, and the so called “normal” people use “sick” terms to describe it.

Am I just angry, or am I manic. Am I frustrated or am I “having a meltdown”

Where is that line. and who gets to draw it

Oooh I hate it when I get this serious this early in the morning. Time for my coco puffs

TTFN

Tigg

Open Letter to the Workplace

This was written by a friend of mine. read it it’s good, Tigg

by Jane Meyerding

This is a strange era in the history of autism because, for the first time, many autistics are discovering their own autism as adults. From the early 1940s, when autism first became a named condition, until the mid 1990s, only children were diagnosed. And those diagnosed tended to be the children with the most incapacitating manifestations of autism. Most of today’s adult-diagnosed autistics survived childhoods full of pain. They were labeled stupid, retarded, crazy, or simply “bad.” School was a torture chamber of teasing, bullying, and often physical violence. When help was sought from adults, the undiagnosed autistics were told to stand up for themselves, change their own behavior in order to fit in, and stop being a tattle-tale. Just “act normal,” act like the other kids, and they’d be fine. Unfortunately, very few young autistics are able to put that advice into practice. Being neurologically normal makes it hard for a person to understand what it is like to be otherwise. Most seeing people assume they can imagine what it would be like to be blind. But how many can imagine what it would be like to lack the “vision” that enables them to perceive and interpret non-verbal communication? According to Dane Archer, a professor at the University of California at Santa Cruz, nonverbal communication
includes facial expressions, tones of voice, gestures, eye contact, spatial arrangements, patterns of touch, expressive movement, cultural differences, and other “nonverbal” acts. Research suggests that nonverbal communication is more important in understanding human behavior than words alone–the nonverbal “channels” seem to be more powerful than what people say. [http://zzyx.ucsc.edu/~archer/intro.html]Autistics, limited by their neurology to “what people say,” are “out of the loop” in almost every situation where non-autistic humans are chatting, negotiating, competing, or net-working, all the while using and interpreting the full range of nonverbal communication without even noticing it. The skills are so basic to their neurology as to be invisible to their conscious minds. Meanwhile, the autistic in the room is struggling to keep up, using whatever interpretive skills he or she has acquired through hard work over the course of years. And “work” is the operative word. Having to do on purpose what everyone else does automatically requires a lot of energy. It is like working two jobs at once, especially given that nonverbal communication is expected to go both ways. Non-autistics automatically interpret whatever nonverbal signals they believe they are receiving from other people. If the other person happens to be autistic, s/he must generate those signals consciously or risk being misinterpreted, sometimes in quite drastic ways. A job interview, for example, is stressful for most people. Now imagine what it’s like for someone with decades of painful experience in “getting it wrong” as far as nonverbal communication goes. Strong eye-contact is seen as a sign of honesty; failure to engage in that aspect of nonverbal communication is taken as a sure sign that the person has something to hide. That stereotype “works” because neurologically typical people in U.S. majoritarian culture grow up including eye-contact in their repertoire of taken-for-granted communication habits. For most autistics, eye contact is worse than not automatic; it can be painful or, at best, so distracting that one is unable to take in what is being said. The sad choice becomes: Do I look the interviewer in the eye and fail to understand the question s/he is asking me? or do I obey my neurology, look past the interviewer, and thus become able to respond in a way that illustrates how well-suited I am for this position, simultaneously branding myself “shifty” and “unreliable”?

Without a diagnosis, all such dilemmas remain personal and all failures to “fit in” and “make the grade” are considered proof of individual flaws. Diagnosis can be a huge relief, because it explains so much of what has happened (and failed to happen) over the years. An explanation is not an excuse, and few autistics would use their autism as an alibi for bad behavior. On the other hand, many of us are coming to see ourselves as part of what might be called a neurological minority group composed of those diagnosed “some kind of autistic” (including the controversial Asperger’s Syndrome). “Rather than conceiving of autism as a deficiency,” writes Professor Simon Baron-Cohen (Cambridge), “autism might be better characterised as a different cognitive style.” An intriguing idea, but one that should be matched with this quotation from Yale’s Professor Fred Volkmar: “Many troubled with Asperger’s are really quite bright, especially in terms of their verbal skills…. What is harder for people to appreciate is how impaired they are in other areas.” Just because autism isn’t “awful” and “tragic” doesn’t mean it’s negligible or non-handicapping.

Many of the nicest neuro-typical people “deal with” difference by proclaiming that it doesn’t exist. Or, if that doesn’t work, they will claim that it “doesn’t matter.” Their generous natures cause them to feel that “You’re just like me” is about the nicest thing they can say to someone who, for whatever reason, actually isn’t. While I admire the good intentions behind this kind of generosity, I can’t help squirming at the way it allows so many assumptions to go unchallenged. Unchallenged assumptions have a way of riding roughshod over those who don’t match up to them. Misunderstandings go unnoticed; expectations that are not met (because of the differences hidden behind “universalizing” assumptions) cause unfair conclusions to be drawn — and hiding those conclusions behind politely repressed disappointment does not clarify matters one whit. Most of all, we lose, again and again, the opportunity to experience what it would be like to acknowledge differences and allow them to be visible among us. I suspect that counting on “we’re all alike” as our main tool for getting along together also makes us less open to those whose differences cannot be “overlooked.” Rather than be “nice,” it might be better (in terms of ethics, though perhaps not easier) for us to stop making “sameness” part of our value system for humans.

As an adult-diagnosed autistic, as an autistic with a unique constellation of abilities and deficits, some of them autism-related, many not, I happen to be able — to have learned how to be able — to “pass” in many situations. I am not altogether happy about the fact that “passing” has become what is comfortable (though tiring) for me when I am in public, but it may be too late for me to effect radical changes in my coping mechanisms at this point. (I am 55 years old, after all.) What I want most for my fellow autistics, and especially for those “coming up,” for the younger ones, is for them to find a world and a workplace where they will not have to “pass” as other than they are. Getting to that new reality will require a lot of hard advocacy work on the part of autistics and their friends. Mostly, however, the change will depend on non-autistics being willing to accept and live with difference rather than forcing it underground by denying its reality or isolating it in “special” areas as something to be tolerated but not engaged. The difference between autistics and non-autistics can feel cultural; hence Temple Grandin’s description of herself (made famous by neurologist/writer Oliver Sacks) as “an anthropologist on Mars.” What autistics, whether we can “pass” or not, are asking for is that other people leave room for us. Us as we are. Even if we “look autistic” or “act autistic” or use alternate means of communication. Don’t require that we look and sound like you, because some of us can’t. Don’t judge us on the job (or during the job interview) according to how well we perform the social dance. Give us a chance to show what we can do when who we are is allowed to help shape the world we share with you.

http://mjane.zolaweb.com/

It really is Real

When People think of Autism, they thing of kids staring off into space, maybe with a football helmet on to protect them as they spin around on the floor or bang their heads on the wall. Or they thing of “Rainman”, a movie with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise. Raymond (Rainman) was the older brother who was sent to an institution when it was feared he might hurt his baby brother. Raymond was exceptionally good at math, but had poor social skills, had rigid routines, swayed back and forth and had a flat tone of voice. Raymond was somewhere along the Autism spectrum which ranges from severely affected, to very high functioning. A high functioning autistic who might have Aspergers, may look just like anyone else, or might have a peculiar gate, but even though his disability isn’t as visible, trust me it is just as challenging and oh so evident in the lives of many of us, just as diabetes or asthma is to others.

I was once told, that autistics live in their own world but those with Aspergers live in the world, just in our own way.

I was also told once by a social worker at my kids’ last school, that Aspergers was rare. There was no arguing with this person, who reminded me every other sentence that she was the mental health professional. (My doctor thought this was extremely funny). This “mental health professional” needs to go back to school. One in every 166 kids is autistic. There are 4 in my family. That doesn’t sound very rare to me.

There have been many theories about the cause of Autism and Aspergers and suggested reasons for the rapid increase that we are seeing now. NBC even did a story about the Autism epidemic, which I tried to tell the “mental health professional” but she wasn’t listening. Some have blamed the preservative in childhood vaccinations. Some say it is genetic. Others say that, since the increase in technology jobs, people who are not good with dealing with other people socially can thrive at a job on a computer. Also it is now very possible that an Aspergers male may meet a like minded Aspergers girl in the next cubical, marry and have more possible Aspergers kids.

So is the world now doomed to having a bunch of us Aspies running around? It could be worse. The people that are diagnosed by the public as having an awful lot of Aspergers like traits would amaze you. The one I always like to mention is Bill Gates. Now while I like to Hate Billy boy, especially when my computer is acting up, think of where we would be if he didn’t think out of the box the way he did. Watch the pirates of Silicon Valley sometime. You might hate him more but you will come to see the method behind the guy.

My biggest problem with Aspergers isn’t the condition itself but getting the world to realize that it exists and that it is real. I was once accused by that same “mental health professional” of making up the kids’ diagnosis. Her words were .”Do they have a formal diagnosis?” Emphasis on the word formal. This was in response to some special things I had asked for to help them adjust to a new environment. I so badly wanted to say. No lady, I just read Readers Digest and this is the disease of the month. Geez.

Personally, I wouldn’t want my kids any other way. They are cute and adorable and really hate it when they do something wrong. If I can get the rest of the world to just lighten up and just listen to them, they would enjoy them as much as I do

Chicago, Chicago

Returned from Robin’s to find the city ravaged by a freak storm. I love storms, but this one had 90 mile an hour winds and much of the area is still without power. A nice side effect is that Mike got to stay home today. There is no power at his place of employment either. Made it much easier to catch up on my sleep.

Visiting my daughter is always  great. When we visit her, I get to spend more time talking with her like we used to and I thoroughly enjoy that, but I always leave feeling like I disappoint her. This is just dumb, because she says I don't. 

During part of her Lamaze class, which was why I was there, her instructor excused a portion of the film that was objectionable to most of the new moms, as being made on the west coast. Robin took exception to this under her breath because she considers herself a Californian! The cold winters in Chicago were quite a change.

We had talked earlier about her teenage years and her older brother’s too. I said that I was always worried that they would bring friends home and they would think we were the wrong class. She did ask what I meant, and I replied, that I was afraid they wouldn’t think we were in the same class level as they were. Certainly not as high class or rich as her in laws were. Her in laws of course felt quite at home when they visited. That made me feel better.  It reminded me of the 20th high school reunion we went to.  All the stuck up kids were really friendly. One of the kids who got teased the most was practically a millionaire.  Sometimes being smart has it's perks.

That's the problem with Aspergers. As a child my self esteem was very low, which is why I guess, I felt I wasn't good enough for the kids' friends and new family. My dad was a perfectionist ( I suspect he had Aspergers a bit too now). When I talked nonstop especially about something we learned at school, I was accused of being book smart and life dumb. I hated that, but perhaps some of it is or was true. Not understanding the nuances of social interactions, I probably did appear to be a bit backwards. I remember once being told I was pretty. Boy did I  get trouble for responding. "I know".

No one knew about Aspergers then of course and mostly I got told to not talk so much or so fast. Competing with all brothers in a male dominated family was rough. I had important things to say and dang it why didn't they listen? So I read a lot, like now and taught myself much of what I know. I am a sponge that way.  Go ahead ask me anything.  I'm liable to ask you how much time you have. :-)

Leveling the playing Field

Why is it that when you have a visible disability, no one questions it. Accommodations are made and help is freely given. But an invisible disability that is so devastating to some that they choose to end their life, doesn’t rate a passing thought. Even the word of professionals is questioned if the disability is hard to understand.

ADHD has long been recognized in children as a disability and learning disorder, but it seems that if the child doesn’t bounce off the wall and suffers more from inattention and disorganization, then he isn’t considered to have a problem. Add the stress of the “responsibility system to Aspergers and BPD and you can imagine how life was at our house.

When his doctors and I asked for accommodations for Andy at school, we were told it wasn’t fair to the other kids. Wait a minute, no one says "it isn’t fair" for the kid with a physical disability to be excused from running laps. Some schools even ban peanut butter from the whole building when one child has a severe allergy. How could our requests bother the other kids.

He was allowed to have extra time for standardized tests and that was never questioned. We didn’t even ask for that, the school did. Standardized tests it seems also rank the school so it was to their advantage for him to do well.

Finally one great lady said, that what we were doing was just leveling the playing field. The other kids weren’t doing 6 hours of homework each night, they didn’t have to bring home every book in their desks to make sure they didn’t forget one. These things weren’t going to increase his already high grades, they were just going to decrease his stress level. These were people who said they really liked Andy. Was this more about me? I couldn’t even think that. Why would someone hurt an innocent kid like this It was like pulling teeth to get anything agreed on Even then All of the teachers didn’t follow the plan. But it was a start. And I wasn’t done yet.

Things went from bad to worse. He was bullied on the playground, with little consequences to the star soccer player.

When Andy asked me to give one of my talks, it was OK'd initially. Then I got a call one night from Muffy (Ok her name wasn't Muffy) the school psychologist, who had the audacity to ask me if the kids had a formal diagnosis . Emphasis was hers. What did she think I did, pull it out of the Readers Digest? Did she want to see my medical bills? She went on to tell me how rare AS is Wrong!! One in 166 kids is on the autism spectrum. She thought we shouldn't be so open about our diagnosis and that taking to his class would embarrass and ostracize him. Heck the thing was his idea. What , should we go in the closet? I swear if she said one more time that she was "the mental health professional", as if that made everything she said true, I thought I would lose it.

It became clear that this was the principle way of backing out of her permission without having to talk to me herself. What a coward. Three days later I pulled the kids out of that school.

To be continued.........

Struggling with the rules

Having ADHD means being unorganized at least for me it does. It is also that way for my kids. Consequently, at the end of the day, when most kids easily toss the books they need in their backpacks in preparation to go home, it is a real chore mine. It takes much longer to make sure all the right materials make it home, and the pressure to keep up with the class, sometimes makes it all the more stressful. No one likes to be called slowpoke etc, when you are already considered odd.

One of the Rules, I have always had a problem with at the new school was the disciplinary system (curiously called a responsibility plan). Let me explain. Remember while you read this that what the system says and how it is actually carried out are sometimes two different things, but know that the children are very serious about this and fear it for good reason.

Each child gets a card at the beginning of each month. Technically this card is used to mark any rules violation. More serious violations might get more than one mark. Certain rules are black and white, while others are really up to the teacher's discretion. For instance, a missing homework assignment ie. not having all your assignments turned in by 8am in some grades, is a clear violation and cause for a mark. Misbehaving and disrupting class is also on the list of offenses, but that area is more of a grey area, since some classes are naturally more “noisy” and after "all kids make noise". Some teachers also have a higher “mark” threshold than others. Some kids will plead and promise anything if you don’t give them a mark. There are lots of conduct related behaviors that don’t consistently result in an immediate mark. But missing home work and being out of uniform do.

While on the surface this sounds OK. It should be up to the teacher to decide about behaviors based on many things including the specific capabilities of the student. However, that kind of leeway is not afforded the teacher when it comes to homework. Even in college, if you bring your homework by the end of the day, it counts. Here if your homework is misplaced, hidden in a different book, or found later in your lunch-box, not only is it marked late, but the mark on the card stands. Nothing about the student is taken into account. It doesn’t matter if he or she never misses homework or just decides not to do it in favor of TV. It also doesn’t matter if the book is forgotten. Since the school is locked up shortly after dismissal, even discovering this as soon as he gets home, returning to get the book is not an option. Finally and more relevant to my case, even a medical diagnosis that impedes the child and is documented is not taken into account. Not without a lot of fighting.

In my mind what this teaches the student is not responsibility, but that he can behave badly as long as he gets his homework in on time. Notice I didn’t say as long as HE does his homework. Some parents I know, instead of fighting this system, just do the kids homework for them. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that the kids shouldn't do their homework. I have been accused of this. I just want some reason applied.

Why the fuss? The consequences are much worse that a mark on the card, which by the way is done publicly in front of the whole class. Even in the work place, employees have the right to be disciplined in a private area. At the end of the month, in addition to any punishment from the parent, the child is punished again. One mark excludes him/her from the monthly reward activity. Again a public event. Get enough marks you get detention. Sure that’s fine, especially if it’s for behavior. But detention consists of sitting in a chair silently and still, not working, not doing homework. Doing nothing.

Now if you are already behind in your homework and have to spend an hour after school, when are you supposed to do your homework? Not to mention that for some kids, like those with ADHD, sitting still for even 15 minutes is a physical impossibility. A parent has to insist that an alternate punishment is used. Even then the infraction isn’t forgiven. After 4 or 5 marks in a year, the student is excluded from the yearly celebration. Even God forgives us our sins. He doesn’t make us beg forgiveness every year for something done a year before.

Then we come to "Being out of Uniform" Now I am fine with requiring uniforms and especially with the older kids, some variations in the policy is in their immediate control. But again, there has to be some wiggle room and the teachers either don't or feel they can't take a home situation into account.

The handbook says that the uniform is the responsibility of the parents, but the child gets zinged for the infraction. Consider this true scenario: Working mom with disabled Husband sudenly finds that husband in the hospital, critcally ill. At home four children the oldest is 11-12, youngest 3 perhaps.

Suddenly school uniforms are the last thing on anyone's mind. The 12 year old has to get himself and the younger kids ready for school, day care, etc. Even the best mildest manored kid would in my opinion have difficulty with this. Doing laundry, changing diapers, getting his own homework done and generally helping out while mom works, deals with insurance companies, tries to visit Dad, not to mention the general stress in the home with a sick parent. Tell me that kid is not responsible enough because his sister is wearing the wrong color socks or forgot her belt. Oh did I mention that this kid also has ADHD? No it's not my kid. Well at least he had company when he missed the end of the month party. He was there with mine, whose third strike was having his math home work stuck in his English Book.

It's only just begun

No I promise not to sing.

School Started in late August 2005.

I knew something was wrong at the Ice cream social. What was supposed to be a feel good, get to know one another event, soon was obviously one of those us & you, sort of things. All the class lists were up, but the strange/uncomfortable thing was that all the kids from the “home team” had their birth-dates next to their names. The “visitors” did not.

This clearly identified the two groups as such. There was no attempt to make the new kids feel welcome. To make things worse. The information was clearly available for both groups or they could have been left off both groups, but there was no move or Leadership? position taken by the principal. Was this to be a forecast of the rest of the year?

I felt close to so many of the kids from our old school, but I was also concerned for my own. How would these new kids (and parents) react to my rather Odd kids. I knew the parents were resentful and since children learn what they live, I was afraid the kids would be too. Add the teachers with a new principle and much larger classes, and my kids would get lost for sure.